Reflection: Stepping out of High School and Into College

College is right around the corner for me, in less than three weeks I will be able to officially call myself a college freshman. But even though I am excited and anxious to meet my new friends and classmates, I am naturally very nervous. I am nervous about my new friends and my new classmates and about whether or not I will be able to work and participate in the school newspaper and literary magazine while still coming home early enough to ease my mothers worrying heart. These issues are constantly in the back of my mind, how to have a social life, make my own money while contributing to the household and satisfying my mothers at the same time. I have to tell you, it isn't easy. I haven't even started school yet and I am already anticipating my mom arguing with me on how late I get home and how late I stay up doing homework because I have to get up early the next day to go to school again. College is supposed to be the best years of your life and I am going to try and make it the best. Worrying about satisfying mom and not myself first is not going to help me make the best of these years but I just have to figure out how I'm going to do it all. It's so hard because I'm going to need a lot of help and I hate that because my sister isn't going to need as much help since her education is free and she is actually being reimbursed through her financial aid. I decided to go through private education and will end up borrowing a lot more money than I care to think about at this point. Soon, however, I will have the answers and maybe not, no one knows but I will stop until I have the answers, good or bad.
My internship this summer at Metro NY newspaper which I was placed at through the Futures and Options Program, taught me that I am uncomfortable working around adults and that I am uncomfortable being alone. I've always known that I don't work the best when I am alone but this summer it was a new and different loneliness I felt. I was afraid of talking to people and when I did I was hesitant to be myself and I thought they were constantly judging me. Can you say PARANOIA?! Yeah definitely but it was because I really had no idea why I was there. I mean sure I got into Futures and Options and they placed me there which is how I got there but I had no idea why I had gotten into the program or what I had done so great to impress these people. Now I realize that knowing what you're doing and why you're doing it is very important.
Q: Why do I want to be a journalist?
A: Journalism is a way to talk to a big group of people and getting information out that they might not know. I want to be the person to let them know "Hey you're supposed to know this information but someone hasn't told you."

Q: Who am I?
A: I am journalist but most importantly I am a sponge; soaking in information, attitudes, and issues. I am driven, ambitious and yeah maybe a little scared but at this stage in their life, who isn't?

I think I have to make a list of goals that I will stick to when I am in college:

1) Manage my time-- I will do this by keeping copious notes on my calendar/planner.
2) Do all my assignments on time and the best I can do-- I will do this by requesting the help of tutors or CSO staff.
3) Attend office hours for professors-- I will do this by managing my time to allow me the flexibility to do this.

I am very excited but I have a lot to discover, not only about my campus but about myself. Cross your fingers that will be successful at this. I will keep a religious journal on my blog of articles and personal entries about my experiences at the College of Mount Saint Vincent.

Wish me luck!