Sad Life

She wore her perfect blond hair in a perfect bun on top of her perfect head. Her clothes were nicely pressed and her makeup was flawless. She sat in the corner of the lounge where she saw students in her school conversating across the room. They were speaking in a different language she didn’t understand and she scoffed.

“They should feel lucky they have the opportunity of getting educated in this country,” she thought.

“They’re just taking the financial aid I could be getting just because they’re from a different country.”

Sheila looked at their smiles down to their dingy clothes and worn sneakers. She could not understand how they could be so happy when they had absolutely nothing. They ate nothing but homemade sandwiches and water and walked to the train a mile away. Sheila had a Greek salad for lunch with her Starbucks coffee at least twice a day and drove to school and home again.
Sheila finished people watching at the lounge and went to her two-thirty class.

Mohammad, Abdul, Raul, and Juan watched the pretty white girl pass them and slightly bump Mohammad on the shoulder. He smiled at her even though she didn’t look back to apologize and continued talking to Abdul, Raul and Juan. They were talking about the test that each of them studied for the night before.
“You think you’re ready to take the test?” asked Raul to Juan in his broken English.

“I think I studied the best I can,” he replied.

Juan watched how the rest of the rooms students moved so elegantly. He couldn’t help but think how easy it could have been for one student in particular, Max. Juan thought how easy he could have it if he were Max’s friend, the Deans son. Although he was there on a full scholarship because his family was on Public Assistance, he would have a ride to school everyday and wouldn’t have to spend money everyday on transportation. Max caught him looking at him and gave a half smile so Juan waved and looked away quickly.

“Hey, I know you think you are living difficult Juan, but we have it good compared to those living in true poverty. We have life, we have a chance at education, we have all we need. Wishing you were in Max’s position will never get you where Max is, only hard work will,” Abdul said putting his arm around Juan and looking at the Psychology textbook that had been open for about four hours last night on the counter in the back of the Taco place he worked at. The textbook even had remnants of refried beans on the back cover which made him nervous. He wondered if he could resell it if he had gotten refried beans on the back.

Abdul went back to Mohammad and Raul picked up the napkins from the table that had covered their sandwiches earlier. Juan wished he could be friends with Max or talk with him for just a moment to see how people like him lived, ate and have fun. But all the wishing could never make someone like Max talk to someone like Juan. To Max, Juan was a deadbeat, someone living off the system and stealing their money and education. Max was dating the most beautiful white girl in the school, Sheila. Although they were hardly seen together, Juan overheard Max saying that he loved Sheila and was thinking about asking her to be his steady girlfriend. A girl like Sheila would never even think about looking at Juan. “Why?” he wondered.

Mohammad left the group and headed to the other end of the lounge through to the lockers. On his left he saw his collage of friends of African and Hispanic decent and on his right were the preppy white kids that looked at them weird every time he walked in their air. He and his brothers were the first generation of Africans in their family so he wasn’t used to the stares and most of all the glares without smiles. Where he came from, everyone was family and a smile cost nothing. He could not understand the reasons for why they did not talk with people different from them. It was such a sad thing to him and did not care if he did not have them as friends, they obviously did not care about getting to know him so he would just do the right thing and treat them as human beings but they were no friends of his.

The world seemed to just be going. Fear seemed to dominate the room. No one was willing to tread into another’s culture and ask questions or try and get to know one another, so everyone remained ignorant. Everyone hated each other because they had no idea who they were or even cared for that matter who they were. They were scared that they would actually like each other, scared that they would actually have stuff in common or find each other interesting. Everyone lived their life the best they could with what they had and helped no one who they weren’t familiar with. What a sad life that would be, wouldn’t it, if it were what were happening today?

Darkness

Heavy like a twenty pound weight
on the chest of a baby,
the helpless despair you feel
will make you go crazy.

The silence suffocates you
but stillness lets you breathe,
it feels as if tonight,
you're as free as the nights breeze.

Although it may aid you in sleep
others cry in fear,
the beauty in the darkness,
is only in what one hears.

And this is the sound of tranquility
the words of your mind,
with the sensation of relaxation
comes the ticking of Father Time.

In That Room

My eyes were open but I was not awake.
I heard his voice but did not understand his words and was numb to the touch.
The two hours I spent in his room had mummified me, I could not believe what I had just done.
What Roxy had just done, what Emma had not tried to stop and what Tashi just let happen.
In that room Roxy kicked Tashi and Emma out and turned into a beast.
His lips touched my lips, touched my neck, chest and stomach,\
His tongue traced the inside of my mouth and made me trembled as he licked me….so sexy.
I sat on top of him and did what Roxy told me to, she was in control.
She rode him, held on to the wall and bit her lips as she felt a tingle go throughout her abdomen.
She smiled, she moaned when his fingers probed inside her tight crevice and then Emma came back.
“Stop” she said “Hold on”
The Dark Angel did.
Tashi played with her hair and Emma wiped her mouth.
She smelled like him. She was disgusted.
Tashi kissed him and Emma worried about missing classes.
The comforters weren’t enough to hide how scared Tashi was or how upset Emma was.
Tashi and Emma carried tired, worn, satisfied Roxy out of the white turned black room.
Walked slowly down the ramp and down the stairs to the bus.
The Dark Angel waited with us.
Emma remembered scrubbing her mouth with soap after she tasted him, which hadn’t worked. Apparently Tashi still smelled him.
She sat on the bus after giving him one last kiss and felt… nothing
Just the wind from the open window that assured us it was real.
I arrived back at my school where nothing had changed.
Roxy went away and Tashi met up with a friend.
Emma cried.