Filters...Who Needs Them?

Recently I went to a professional event in which my sister was a part of. She was delivering a speech at City Hall voting for term limits. She was apart of the Edward T. Rogowski model New York City council internship, along with fifty plus high school students. While an intermission my sister introduced me to some of the staff and her new found friends. During lunch, I conversated with a staff member and three teenagers. I made jokes and talked freely during this exchange. At one point the staff member asked me “You don’t have a filter, do you?” I was a little embarrassed but I looked back at him and said, “No, I actually don’t.” I mean, I know when the right time and place is to let my guard down. I have a very outgoing personality and sometimes I can be brutally honest.
As I go back in time in my head, I can recall a time when my filter had microscopic holes that allowed nothing to go through. Even though I think everyone has awkward years, I think the source of that awkward is fear. My awkward phase is due to my fear of acceptance. I missed out on getting to know some of my peers because of fear. I was afraid to be too honest and that people weren’t going to like me. It really wasn’t until this past summer that I broke out of my shell and allowed others to decide right away for if they liked me or not. Surprisingly, I attracted a lot more people like that than being quiet and shy.
Some people may say that my personality is too aggressive but I find that once I step out of my shell other people feel comfortable. Don’t get me wrong I still get insecure sometimes but for the most part I am happy with myself. I know that I will always wonder, “What did he think of me?” Or “did I come off too strong?” but I hope I can help others become comfortable for being who they are.